100 Ways to Annoy Hermione Granger
by Prevans
Summary: this story is about ways to kill annoy Hermione Granger. please read the title to understand what it is about, or this summary.


100 Ways to Annoy Hermione Granger

Steal a piece to her 5,250 piece puzzle of Gilderoy Lockhart

Tell her that the other beavers are missing her back at the dam

Say that the smarter you are, the quicker you die

Make fake wedding pictures of her and Voldemort

Apperate in front of her every 10 seconds

Take her food and tell her she's fat enough already

Make L.K.H.E. club, "Let's Kill House Elves"

When she's sleeping, put a henna tattoo of the dark mark on her fore arm

Hide her wand

Rip all copies of "Hogwarts, a History"

Next time there's a troll in the girl's bathroom, leave it there

Put her in a cage with Grawp

Repeat "Hermy" a billion times

Push her through the veil

Tell her she should shave her hair for cancer

Make her a blind date with Mad-Eye Moody

Poke her eyes out

Tell her she smells

Call her mudblood of course!

Handcuff her to Colin Creevey for a day

Discuss S.P.E.W. but keep saying "spew" instead

Tell her they are locking down all libraries

Eat her

Call her Her-hiney

Sing the song that never ends in her ear

Tie her to a chair and tell her she can't get up until she finds the last number in pi

Paste her face on a picture of an old man in a Speedo and hand it out to people

Use the Poly Juice potion to turn into her and walk around naked

Tell her "Your Muggle" jokes instead of "Your Mama" jokes

Tell her to follow the spiders

Force her to read a German dictionary and write a 10 page book report on it

Lock her in a room that has a gun with one bullet and repetitively plays Hillary Duff soundtracks

Make out with Ron

Call Ron "Won-Won"… LAVENDER!

Throw her off a cliff

Put her in 12 Grimmuld Place and make sure Mrs. Black doesn't stop yelling

Tape Spell-o-tape all over Crookshanks

Give her a mirror

Tell her off for being such a know-it-all

Stuff Blast-ended-skrewts in her bed

Show her the difference between cat and human hair so that the next time she uses the Poly Juice potion, she won't turn into a cat

Exchange her wand with one of Fred and George's fake wands

Make her join the headless hunt…if you get my gist

Open the Chamber of Secrets… again… so she'll die

Force her to join Moaning Myrtle for tea

Ask her to tell you a very long explanation between the difference of monkshood, wolfsbane, and aconite

Tell her she's Voldemort's last horcrux

Ask her to figure out how to stay underwater for an hour

Mimic her every move

Put her on a hippogriff…

…than on a thestral

When she uses a time turner, make sure her two bodies are at the same place at the same time

Tell her you're having dreams about your godfather at the end of corridors in the Ministry of Magic

Put a turban on your head and try to explain to her that you have 2 faces

Ask her why the heck she is taking Muggle Studies

Make a voodoo doll of her

Repeat "it's 'Le**vio**sa' not 'Leviosa'

Show her the difference between a pen and a quill

Say to her "Is there always a rain cloud over your head because you're really muddy?"

Throw water balloons at her and tell her you wanted to know if she would melt

Ask her why her mouth is so big if her parents are dentists

Make her watch Bewitched, Twiches, Charmed, and Hocus Pocus

Questio how she remembered Lockhart's favorite color was lavender

Compare her to Millicent Bulstrode by telling her they look like twins

Make "How many Hermiones does it take to screw in a light bulb" jokes

Turn her hair into snakes and call her "Her-dusa"

Make her get off her lazy bum and get the Sorcer's Stone herself…

…and Ginny from the Chamber…

…and Sirius from the tower…

…and win the Triwizard Cup…

…and get the Prophecy…

…and get all of the horcruxes

Have Peeves make up songs about her

Stick her in the Jar with Rita Skeeter

Have her switch luck with poor Neville

Force her to sing the Real Slimshadey

Have her hang out with Voldemort, Aragog, Quirrell, Snape, Pettigrew, Dementors, boggarts, Death Eaters, and the Dursleys

Open the golden egg and leave her with it

Make her splich when she apperates

Put her in a broom closet with Crabbe and Goyle

Write her a letter pretending you're Krum and say you hate her

Throw her in the lake

Throw her in the Forbidden Forest

Tell her about harles in mistletoe

Have her in the same room with the marauders and Gred and Forge

Put her in front of the Whomping Willow

Explain to her how she's nonstop pms'ing

Ask her what side of her family is goblin

Have brains attack her

Put the Death Eater with the baby head in her room

Make her drink the liquid in the cave with the locket

Force her to watch Voldemort's rebirth

Put her in a tank with Snape at a zoo

Have her be attacked by a crap load of mail flying everywhere

Have her collect money from the father at the House of Gaunt

Tell her she is such a witch… no pun intended

Ask her if she's made of wood

Make her verse Ron in a game of Wizard's chess

Have Michel Jackson dangle her from a window

Make her read 100 Ways to Annoy Hermione Granger by Prevans


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